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Matthew 11:28 (ESV)
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

Sunday was a tough day for me.  It was our first weekend after the closing of The Crossing and it was really strange and sad to be home on a Sunday morning.  Tam and I decided to take a week before going back to church somewhere so I was home thinking things like, "Oh it's 7 AM. We'd be unloading the trailer right now. Oh, it's 9AM.  We'd be meeting for prayer right now.  Oh, it's 10:15AM. I'd be getting ready to preach right now."  It was just really strange and I found myself feeling quite depressed for much of the day.

I realized Sunday afternoon that I have been running on empty for the past month or so.  There has been so much to do and so much has happened so fast that I've just kept my head down and moving forward, until I hit a wall on Sunday.  But then Sunday night God, in His grace, saw fit to teach me a lesson through my 7 month old daughter...it's always humbling when someone who can't talk teaches you something...

I was putting Ava to bed and she was so over tired that she was thrashing around all over the place and could not rest.  I picked her up out of her crib and tried to hold her to my chest so she would calm down, but she kept pushing away from me with her super-human baby strength so that I could not console here. I just kept thinking, "Ava, why don't you just put your head down on my chest and let me help you calm down and get the rest that you need."  And than God said the 4 words He consistently speaks to me when I observe other people and think the answer to their problem is so obviously simple. God said,

ARE YOU ANY DIFFERENT?

I'm looking down at my baby girl wondering why she won't just rest her head and let me comfort her and I realize that God is thinking the same thing about me.  The truth is, in spite of my personal fatigue I have been having a difficult time going to God in prayer.  I have been spinning my wheels trying to keep my family encouraged, keep my church family encouraged, trying to figure out what's next for me, and how I'm going to provide for my family, but I have not done a good job of simply laying my head on my Father's chest and allowing Him to give me rest and refreshment. 

Last night I sat in bed, unable to sleep and begged God to give me the grace necessary to stop trying fix everything and figure everything out and simply rest in Him.  It's funny how easy it is to preach this stuff, but how difficult it is to pursue it in my life.  I guess the big idea is that God is truly good, He is gracious to me and He wants to give me rest and refreshment so that I can pursue His mission in this next season.  I know that to be true, but I need God to continue to help the gospel drop in my own life.  Pray for me...